12.25.2008 - Merry Christmas!

From Julian's COTA journal

Greetings to everyone on this Christmas Day. Merry Christmas!

I wanted to update you all that has transpired over the last several weeks regarding our situation.

Firstly, Blue Cross/Blue Shield, Julian and David's Health Insurance Provider, sent us a letter that said Dave could keep his policy and move out of state. We are thrilled! They do not enforce the residency clause in the contract anymore, and notified us in writing that we would not be terminated if we moved, that Dave could keep his health insurance. I think we will be putting that letter into a safety deposit box!!!! =)

In light of that development, Dave is looking to find a job in Arizona and will relocate as soon as he has secured one. Meanwhile he commutes here to Gilbert every Thursday, returning to Colorado every Sunday. When I purchased the tickets for him, they were only booking up until the first weekend in March, so I am curious if we will need to purchase more tickets for him or if he will be here permanently by then?

Secondly, we received a letter from Medicare that I just opened today that backdates Julian's benefits to April of 08. Why is this important? Backdating the benefits means that Medicare (instead of Julian's insurance policy) will pay for Julian's transplant, which will "spare" his Blue Cross policy about $350,000 in already paid benefits. Since his "cap" on benefits is $2 Million and he's up to $800,000 already, this will mean that $350K is "backed out" of his benefits-already-paid and we will be able to utilize it later for him, if necessary. Since we are keeping the policy, this is an important piece.

In my wildest dreams I did not think we would have answers to these things by Christmas. But here it is, Christmas Day, and we have answers. Our year of extreme uncertainty (procedures and outcomes for Julian, a donor for his Kidney - thanks again and again Cheryl! - our living situation, the future) is coming to a close. It was a year that demonstrated life's uncertainty, and God's response to that uncertainty, which has always been "Be patient. Do your part. Wait for My answer, wait for My provision. I have the answer coming up the other side of that mountain you are climbing." Was "our part" easy? No. In a word, No. But it was still our part. We had to be diligent. We researched steroid-free vs steroid transplants. We applied for Medicare. We asked them to re-open the file when we got conflicting information from them as to when his benefits were actually supposed to start. We did the legwork. God doesn't bless laziness, sometimes I wish He would but He does not. So we did our part.

Dave and I have felt like Abraham must have felt climbing that mountain with his son. Trusting that God would provide, but not knowing how, or when. Not knowing, for sure, whether he would be making the journey back down the mountain with his son at his side. All the while Abraham was climbing the one side of the mountain, the ram that God was going to provide, the "answer" to Abraham's quandry, so to speak, was trudging up the other side of the mountain. From God's perspective He had already provided the moment Abraham took his first step up the trail.

Therein lies the struggle, struggling to rest in the knowledge of God's provision, while not being able to see it with one's own eyes at the moment one wants to see it. Did I "rest" in that knowledge? I can say practically I did, there was nothing else I could do. But emotionally I struggled. I was anxious more times than I like to admit. My mind trying to hit it from every angle, and coming up short, and coming up frustrated as far as what the answer would be, and when we would know it. But the answer is there when you NEED to see it, not necessarily when you WANT to see it. That is my Christmas lesson. And my New Year's Hope is that this year's terrain will be a little less steep. Trusting in God all the while, I sense that we have begun the journey back DOWN the mountain again. And our son is at our side. Praise Him.

And to all of you, Merry MERRY Christmas, and Happy New Year.

Thanking Him for His provision,

Stacy (and Dave and Julian) Phillips